My true Calling (part I)

It all started when I gave my life completely in God's hands!
At first moment was born in my heart the strong desire to serve God, to do truly the WORK OF GOD, or totally deny MY WILL!
After this great desire within me, it was amazing, I could no longer think in my life, in my will!
Had rather a desire staggering TO SAVE SOULS!!
Starting from that moment, it began to be my TARGET: I was Fighting to make this desire that was born in me, become true. Because often, we meet people who really have a desire to do the work of God, to serve God, but later, you're faced with that same person who claimed to have an urge to serve God, and therefore discouraged she gives up with that desire she said that was immense and true to do the work of God.
For this simple example, we can testify that feeling she felt, was not a desire placed by God, but by herself, because she see or saw many serving God!
The true calling of God is a glowing flame burning all the time within the man or woman of God.
And something magnificent and unexplainable that only those who have this calling, discern between a certainty and excitement!
The real CALLED places a desire within the person's inexplicable and you fight for that goal to be even used by God, no matter how, at the altar or atrium.
Well, it happened to me, no time could not even PRAY for my life. I even prayed but was something more stronger pulled me,  it was like magnet  pull me to act that way, and deep inside of me I heard a soft voice telling me, LEAVE EVERYTHING AND FOLLOW ME, I NEED YOU!!
My dear reader, that voice was powerful within me, which gave me a huge force to fight and achieve that goal, no matter what price I would pay, I wanted to aim that desire that was  burned within me.
Without thinking or fighting for my life, I began to be blessed in everything because I was not think about my desires but the DESIRES AND THE WILL OF GOD.
1 Corinthian 10:24: "Nobody should seek your own interests over the other."
Matthew 6:33: "Seek first your kingdom and your righteousness and all these things shall be added."
Psalms 37:5: "Give your ways to the Lord, trusts him and he will act."
These passages burned within me. I had only one thing in my mind, hear the voice of my God and He began to honor me in everything I was doing, even without asking in prayer, those words began to be fulfilled in my life greatly. I'm not gonna say it was easy to follow that path without being persecuted, humiliated and rejected by all, but that FLAME supported me in a way that was no time that I was hit, was like invisible forcefield was around me at all the time, protecting my faith at that moment that was and always will be the secret of my VICTORY!It's amazing, you go through all this, and not feel alone, and the  more you face, more you become stronger day after day, is magnificent and Great THE POWER OF GOD WITHIN US., AND ONLY BE THAT WAY WHEN YOU LET BE USED BY HIM WITHOUT RESTRICTION.
After a while I started to fight more intensely for that CALLING that every day was burned within me. Every day I was there, serving the Lord, and trying to give my best to see the PEOPLE of God be blessed, something else was missing, I felt it clearly and intensely, because the more I was doing to JESUS yet I was not satisfied. Then I started to TALK to the author of that SIGNAL and CALLING I had.
Then God began to speak, I wanted to use more of what he was using me. HE doesn't wanted to put only those people in that moment as assistant in my responsibility, but a great nation was waiting to be blessed by me in JESUS NAME.So began another intense trajectory: FIGHT to be blessed with a MAN OF GOD who had the same goal : To leave everything and throw his life to take care of the NATION of God.
My first reaction was: Pray and surrend that calling that from that time began to be a dream for me.
And the secret of my prayer was that, I prayed so fervently, not to marry, but for God to make that time short as soon as possible, so that I could be more used and bless those people who was still hiding, and waiting someone chosen by the finger of GOD to be blessed. Because I was thinking all the time, that the more I do, nothing has yet been done because the PLANET is immense, and lack a lot to be done by us being used by God, and our time is short and we have to work hard to save these people were still missing.
That was my prayer:
My God, in the name of Jesus, I know that inside of my soul there is a dream, and that dream was put by the Lord, and now more than ever I have the most absolute certainty day by day that dream will become true because "God is not man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should repent;" "Did he say, and not do it? Or wrote it and will not fulfil? "
So I know to be used by the Lord, I must be blessed with a man of God, then I ask you, do not let me fall into the devil's deceptions and Any feelings. I ask you who approach me and propose me, these will be my HUSBAND, this will be my faith, because the Lord is in control of my life and it only will  happen your will, then this will be the sign: When the man of God sent by the Lord to approach me to ask me for dating, if Its happened because of  your permission, because the Lord acts upon my prayer, nothing else so obviously, I have to believe what I ask if I do not believe, How the Lord will bless me?
So I am surrender this prayer and I am sure of the answer, and right now I thank you because I believe in my blessing, amen!
Since then I have never made this prayer, I wa not worried when it will  happen but each and every day I devoted much more to help and save souls. When I least expected, God sent these man of God.
He approached me and asked me if someone prayed for me, or if I prayed for someone?
And of course that my answer was no ... He asked if I wanted to do the work of God on the altar? .... I said it was a dream that God planted in my heart .. Then he turned and said :These is my chose one!!
We started to talk and pray for God to  bless us. But this sentimental part of our life, our desire  was not influencing in us because we knew that everything that was done for us and for our will would go wrong, so we decided to pray and believe in God's answers and in the right time HE will honor us.....
We were in faith, without worrying about our life, because for us to be blessed quickly, the shortest and right way was to give our lives to see God's will become true in our lives and  forgetting us and do what God had called us to do:
SAVE SOULS and TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE;
Within six months, the pastor called us and said if we had any feelings for each other, our answer was yes! He said: Today I will bless you!
He Blessed us. After the pastor had blessed us that day, I could really see that God was waiting for our surrender to be used by HIM.
He asked us if we'd have faith to get marry in three months. And look, that moment what was in our hearts it was not to be marriage but the desire to be  used much more by God. The probability of God to use us, would be much higher!!
Ok my Dear reader, today Its enough! !!
See you Next post.

God bless you all

Influence

Today you will read about influence and it’s power. We can influence someone or be influence by someone to good or to bad. But before I start, here is what influence real means - Is the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behaviour, opinions, etc. (dictionary.com)

As everything in life we have the good/bad examples, people, choices and sadly, friendship is included. You should choose your friends and people who you are with very carefully. Without you realizing you can be lead into doing things you don’t want and when you realize is too late.

This post is not for you start looking at others differently but to be aware of this influence.

Below is an episode that is written in the Bible of a “supposed friend” leading the other into sin. Jonadab suggests Amnon to rape his half-sister, Tamar.

“After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.  And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”

So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” 2 Samuel 13:1,6

If you continue reading in your bible, you will see that the rape happened and of course the consequences after the sin.

Here is only one verse:

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good habits.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Like I said before, we have the bad and the good in everything. Below is an example of what a friendship is suppose to be. David and Jonathan, Saul’s son, who, in spite of his father pursuit for David and attempts to kill him. Jonathan stood by his friend side.

“But if it pleases my father to do you evil, then I will report it to you and send you away, that you may go in safety. And the Lord be with you as He has been with my father. And you shall not only show me the kindness of the Lord while I still live, that I may not die; but you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever, no, not when the Lord has cut off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth.” 1 Samuel 20:13,15

Here is another verse which illustrate above:

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

To conclude:

A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that she will judge you.

A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust.

A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.

You can have as many friends as you want however choose them wisely.

My Real Encounter with God

I am sure that you are thinking: 'Wow, why almost title there is a word TRUE? Because a lot of times we deceive ourselves and we make confusion about the presence of God, New Birth, Baptism with the Holy Spirit and True Encounter With God. Well, it all started with a simple desire and curiosity to know who was the Holy Spirit that the pastor usually was speaking in all services.I started to seek because I wanted to know His will in my life.It was a very interesting experience that I still remember that day so special and sooner you will understand why it was an experience and not a encounter. Ok, it was a service on Wednesday, the whole  church  in one faith, and all seeking, tearing their soul to achieve that so dreamed ENCOUNTER!!
For the first time, I felt wrapped in the arms of God, was a truly unique experience, because I didn't know How it was, I  just heard the comments.
Ok, from this experience came the desire to be baptized by the Holy Spirit, as I was not satisfied only with His presence !! I wanted HIM to dwell Inside of me, I wanted a change in my life!
And then I discovered that I was wrong!!
Wow, you must be thinking: but How wrong, if the HOLY SPIRIT CHANGES OUR LIFE? For one side  you're right dear reader!!
But we can not forget that this Baptism only happens in the  lives of those who are repentant of their sins, and in the lives of those who actually acknowledged that walked in ways that were not of GOD'S WILL.
But the purpose of Baptism happen when the candidate has a deep desire to win souls and be completely passionate about their salvation and consequently in this baptism we conquer our SALVATION! ! ! Because who is SAVED SAVES !!
But if we see the other side , we emphasize that what brings change to our character, our thoughts, our human nature, in short it all: OUR WILL and our fleshly desires, is the NEW BIRTH, to be born of GOD.
So, dear reader, I did a lot of confusion about this, and I believe many are also. It is an experience that we  never know how and when it will take place in our lives and we do not know in what order!!
That will depend a lot on your surrender and your attitudes.
Well, after that experience of God's presence in my life, I began to fight for the baptism of the Holy Spirit because always pastor was preaching in the service if you Want to be a servant of God, you must be baptized with the Holy Spirit!!
Well, I started to face a constant struggle between the devil's voice and the voice of GOD!!
Then that's the point!!
Yeah, so for me to recognize the voice of God, I had to be born of God, because until then, I had not been born.
So whenever sought God at that moment the pastor use to say: - SPEAKING IN TONGUES.
In that right moment came a thought: don't speak, because it will be equal to the pastor and can not be like that, or the language that you will speak, is not from GOD.
So began to rise within me, a fear of SPEAKING IN TONGUES.
But always when I was seeking God, I was speaking in tongues, but in my MIND.
So I looked for help, guidance of an assistant, who was always willing to help me. She was always ready to help me in my doubts!!
I came up to her and said what was happening.
She simply said that I would have to consecrate myself much more, in  fasting and having my purposes with God, so that he would eliminate these thoughts  that the devil had placed in my mind in that Right time when I was seeking.
And then I started doing my purposes, but something was wrong!! I looked for her again and said that I was doing what she had asked me, and still had not received my answer! With a friendly smile she told me: My dear of course,  God will not come down here and move your tongue for you to speak, but you have to give your first step!!
Well, you can start saying hallelujah and glory, quickly, but in spirit and in truth praising God, and soon you will start to speak in tongues.
Well, I was again, in all services, at home, talking and glory hallelujah and NOTHING.
Then I was again after the Assistant, asking her to clarify doubts that was in my mind.
All final of the services I was after her saying: Today I did not speak in tongues Assistant ! I told her, there's nothing  happening of what you told me!!
She told me: Do you know why? You're anxious, and anxiety is not from GOD!!
Then further complicated things in my head.
Well, I put in my head that God did not want to give to me His  SPIRIT!! Every service I was crying, not feeling God's presence anymore, bitterly wept for thinking of having been rejected by GOD.
It was very painful for me, because every service  I listened  a lot of people, the assistants and the pastor speaking in tongues!
Then the pain increased and always asked to GOD:
LORD WHY you don't Want ME?
One Sunday, the pastor who took care of the CANDIDATE told me: My daughter, you have no desire to be Assistant? -I started crying bitterly because I felt rejected by God!! He said: why are you crying? -I told my whole story to him.

He told me: YOU HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT AND YOU DON'T  KNOW YET!! -I said, how can I have if I do not speak in tongues pastor into words? But I speak in my mind!
He told me: Because you are afraid to speak, but like you told me you speak in mind, you are baptized and do not know it!! -Then I said: What I want is to be used by God pastor, take care of Souls!
He told me : be part of the class of candidates and you will understand a lot!!
Ok, I started to attend classes every Sunday and i  was not so much worried about speaking in tongues, and of course he told me for me to be Assistant  I had to speak in tongues. So that anxiety was abandoning my heart, and I had more attitude than words, so I started to have more control over those thoughts. After a while in class, the pastor began to interview me and always wondered: Are you speaking in tongues ?
The answer was always NO!
He interviewed me 3 times, and the 3 I denied.
There came a time that I became so revolted, I  bent my knee at night at home and I did a challenge with GOD, because for me at that time, was a challenge!!
I said: My God, if you Lord wants to use me, AMEN! if you Lord does not want, remove from within me the desire to serve you, I do not know where it came from!! The only thing I want is the confirmation that the pastor told me for me to seek that I am already baptized.
After that prayer, that desire grew more and more inside of me.
That day I made a mini vigil in seek the Holy Spirit at home 12:00 NIGHT until 04:00 in the MORNING.
It was the day most magnificent, wonderful of my life.
I began to speak in TONGUES!! It was the most IMPORTANT and SPECIAL moment of my entire life.
Well, it was on Sunday early in the Morning, I went to church Very happy to tell the Assistant that was helping me, I Want to tell her the good news, I was expecting the pastor to interview me again, so that I could be Assistant. But disappointment was greater in That day, the pastor nor looked at me! I returned home disappointed and bent my knee and talked with God: - My God, what is that now?  Are you joking with my face?
First of all I had no confirmation of Baptism and the pastor was talked with me all SUNDAYS!
I soaked and I was answered, and now I have received confirmation, he never even looked at me!
Now I know that the Lord really does not want to use me !!!!
God replied: "DAMN is THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN MAN"The man has nothing to give to you, what you are seeking is my answer and not man's answer.
What you seek is in my HANDS!!
My dear reader, after that day, never I never went to class candidate anymore. I Stood at the church door evangelizing every day. I put in my heart if God wanted to use me, nothing would prevent it, I know that HE would make a way because it was not so with DAVID? God met him and he was hiding behind the sheep!!
This is what I did and I told God: -Well, my God, you knows my heart and knows where to find me!!
I left HEADQUARTERS (where I attended meetings), and started going to a church that had opened in the tiny NEIGHBORHOOD where I lived there and began to evangelize! I Spent three weeks after that episode, who appeared in that church?
I was stunned, and had no words!! Precisely!! The pastor who took care of the group of candidates at HEADQUARTERS.
He arrived as who wanted nothing,  passed by me after saying GOOD AFTERNOON and looked the church! Neither asked for the pastor.Morning
He returned to the exit of the church and told me without asked me anything:
From TODAY on you are an Assistant,  do you understand my daughter? Yes pastor!!
Guys, I had nothing to say!!
It was as if God himself responding to me at that moment my complaint! After that day, I could testify that God wanted to use me greatly, because I felt likewise DAVID, chosen by GOD.
It was too strong for me, because when we less expect it, the answer comes!!
Well, I was serving God by 1 year and a half, when I discovered I had not BORN OF GOD!!
So it was a relief to discover in time, so that I could still be used more and the same time was painful.
It was very difficult to pass this stage in my life, so I won, because I really knew that God was with me and also the desire to BORN of GOD's was much greater than that which was passing phase.
This phase was in my marriage, when by an attitude assed, because I have been independent in my life.So deeply did not understand what was being submissive, and when I came to understand, would not accept being dependent on anyone! Always I was very authoritarian, because I had always fought for my life, I had my car and my job!
So because my father taught us to always have to be indepedente, then that was planted in my heart.
And because of that seed planted, I had to pay the price for BORN AGAIN.
Next part of this post will come soon.

See you in the next post my friend.
Be blessed.